The chicken mystery

Never in my wildest dreams did I imagine myself as a chicken whisperer. Yet, here I am, thrust into the role of caretaker for eight feathery bundles of fury on a farm in Hunters Hill near East Grinstead. My experience with poultry? Zilch. But who can resist the charm of a ball-obsessed border collie, two demented, incontinent cats, and a gaggle of disgruntled chickens?

Clueless chickens and their confused caretaker

These chickens are not your average cluckers. They spend their days cooped up in an enclosed outdoor space to shield them from cunning foxes. Understandably, they're not thrilled about their confinement, and they're even less enthused about my presence. As a novice chicken minder, I quickly realize that communicating with them is akin to speaking a foreign language without a phrasebook.

The mystery of the coop caper unraveled

My first night as hen-sitter unfolds with a perplexing twist. I'm tasked with ushering the chickens into their coop (house) before nightfall, locking the horizontal sliding door (that reminds me of a guillotine) securely. To my surprise, upon arrival, I find them already tucked away inside. So, I dutifully close the door and retire for the night. But come morning, three rebels are inexplicably roaming outside, the sliding door still shut tight. It's a chicken riddle wrapped in a coop mystery.

Chicken shenanigans: A tale of feathers and frustration

The days blur into a series of chicken-related conundrums. How do they breach the coop confines? Do they possess secret teleportation abilities? And why, oh why, do they insist on playing hide-and-seek with me every dusk and dawn? Three days in, I unravel the mystery: there’s a back door in the coop!

As I solve this poultry puzzle, a new concern arises: the perilous sliding door. Will I wake up one morning to a beheaded bird and a crime scene worthy of Agatha Christie?

In the end, my stint as a hen-sitter proves to be an adventure filled with more twists and turns than a country road. While I may not have mastered the art of chicken communication, I emerge with a newfound respect for these feathered friends—and a hilarious tale to share with anyone who'll listen.

How's your experience with chickens? Share in the comments!